No Third Choice

Fevers

It never ceases to amaze me how afraid of fevers I am.  As soon as I get the inclination, I get the thermometer, and my heart starts racing, I start sweating and I’m instantly flooded with my memories, and they are never good.  I know that medical professionals say that low grade fevers are ok, and that they are a sign of the body working to fight something within, but Jameson’s fevers spike to high so fast that holding off on medicine just doesn’t even seem like an option to me at this point.  Since his febrile seizures, there have been fevers that didn’t result in seizures, but something about seeing your baby helpless and all hooked up to tubes and needles, just never leaves your memory.  I am definitely a lot less panicky when a low fever roars it’s head in the house, I know his body can handle them a lot better and it’s seen 39 degree fever for a period of time with no seizure, but it is so difficult to make those memories my primary ones.  I’m reading & remembering a couple of books that I really believe help with my parenting and managing my stress and daily routines; “The Secret” & “The Power of Now”.  I’m sure they aren’t your typical recommended parenting literature, but there is something to be said about sending out what you want to happen to the Universe, and living in the now & not the past that really puts whatever moment or situation I’m in into perspective.  I use a lot of there philosophies, if that’s what you should call them, for a lot of things, but I find they really help me through the things, like fevers, that are out of my control.  Hope they do for you too.

Cheers

My heart was still today when Evangeline gave Jameson a hug.  It was the first time she has ever just walked up to him and given him a hug or any kind of affection; don’t get me wrong she follows him around like he’s the life of the party, eats out his bowl because it always tastes better and lets not forget his sippy cup, no matter which one he has it’s always her favourite.  

I’ve been pretty consistent with acceptable behaviour between them, any kind of hitting, pushing, biting, or pinching towards each other is absolutely not tolerated, it’s actually one of the biggest offensives in the house.  I’ve been firm but not over the top, and if anything happens they always get the “very disappointed mommy/daddy face” – firm voice, time out, and have to say sorry (and a real sorry looking at the person while they apologize) and a hug and a kiss.  

I’ve always encouraged Jameson not to get too frustrated with Evangeline, but rather to be the big brother and help or show her if she isn’t doing something right.  I’m not going to lie, it’s exhausting, I’ve let some things fall to the wayside in order to keep up with this one; like tiding up for example.  Jameson has shown some truly lovely moments towards Evangeline; from sitting beside her on the couch when his favourite chair is empty, to always asking where she is and if’s she’s coming too, he never leaves her out even if he really wants to do something with just mommy or daddy.  But I’ve really been wondering if these are just fleeting moments or something more.  But today just sealed the deal, because not only did she hug him, but he hugged her back. 

I know they won’t always be lovely towards each other, and there will be good times and bad; but I really feel the hard work we’ve put in to encourage a positive relationship between them, and teaching them how to treat each other, is one of the best things we could’ve done.

Today I am reminded; not only that I’m 30 but also, that I am not wonder women.  I know this is shocking to me too-lol.  I have been going like crazy since early this summer with weddings, Jameson’s seizures, life stuff that I know all of us have.  The only thing is that I’ve neglected myself a lot.  It’s always weighing on my mind and somehow just gets forgotten … something always seems more important.  So to all the mothers out there who here some truth ringing in the above for them as well, remember this; we’re no good to anyone if we aren’t at our best; both physically and mentally and especially our health.  I’m learning it’s a little hard for a 2 ½ year old to take care of a 30 year old; although if I let him he would

Ok the not so poetic is: I’m tired, my throat hurts, I don’t want to cough too loud and wake the children, I don’t know if I should sleep or clean (I know which one I want to do), I have no idea what to cook for dinner, my throat hurts, my kids are so darn adorable especially when I’m whispering to them that they’ve been naughty, I’m sick and tired of hand sanitizer – my hands are so dry, oh and did I mention my throat hurts

Today I will do one thing to better my health: instead of a coffee (that I desperately wanted) I had a lemon green tea.  It was actually really nice J